There are still times I wonder whether I can handle this new life. I used to think this kind of life is not the kind of life I wanted – the one where my entire universe was the home and my family and everything else was the icing. I look back and realize how frustrated, depressed and angry I was all the time – back then, in the old life. I don’t know if I had made the connection then, but clearly the life I was living was not a match for the person that I am. I was content to continue that way, however, which I find is the most interesting part of it all.
Then I met him, the man who would be my mate for the rest of my life. The man who was my dream come true. The man who was going to change my life forever. And at that moment, it never mattered how it would change, it only mattered that I was there to experience it, relish it, luxuriate in it.
Of course, being the over-thinker I tend to be, I was fully aware that this new life would most likely mean a complete re-working of my life. A monumental relocation and a massive sacrifice on my part. I was going to be giving up certain for uncertain – in so many ways. Certain employment, certain social acceptance, certain habits, certain familiar haunts, certain friends and friendships, certain experiences. I was entering into a world that at best I had only read about and experienced as an outsider.
When it finally happened, when the day came for me to leave behind my home, family, friends and familiar surroundings in Kingston, Jamaica and fly to the state of Kentucky, United States to marry my soldier husband who was of a different race, different culture, different education … the only negative emotions I remember having were apprehension of the trip and bashfulness when I thought about the new people I would have to meet and “impress”. I literally walked out of my old life and into my new one with nothing but hope, excitement, a little apprehension and lots of joy.
“Just be yourself”, was the advice I got from everyone who knew. This is a fact I still have yet to quantify for myself, apparently I am an amazing person who charms and endears all who encounter me. Such a drastic difference from the way I have viewed myself all my life. Me? Charming? Endearing? Ha. I’ve always viewed myself as mediocre, just barely-there, a weirdo introvert who really doesn’t mix well with others. (In fact, a close friend of mine once bought me a t-shirt that reads “Doesn’t play will with others” because she said “it reminded me of you”.)
Nevertheless, I vowed to do my best and just be me. After all, “me” is who my husband met, fell in-love with and wanted to marry … and at no point in our courtship was I ever someone whom I was not. Clearly, there was something to like. Regardless, here I am again after yet another relocation and seeking to make new friends yet again. Something I better get used to since this is part and parcel of the military life. Weirdo introvert or not, I’m going to have to get out there and be me again.
But I digress. Here I am on this side of the switch … and now that I am here, looking back, I smile; because I don’t think I had ever imagined that my life would turn out this way. A literal fairy-tale come true.
Related posts:
- friends lists and learning new things Once, I removed a friend from my twitter list. They had tweeted once when they joined and then never again...
- my! how we’ve changed! I jump into GTalk with a friend today. We exchanged the usual greetings and they go “Know what I notice?...
- Dealing with Death in life My Grandfather-in-law passed away early on Thanksgiving Day 2009. He had been ailing for some time and in desperate pain....
- Knowing when a mistake is just a mistake and moving on For the second time in my life, (and funnily from the same source), it’s been demonstrated that no matter how...
- Clarifications – Pt II Continuing with the clarifications for the blog post I made back in June 2009, allow me to deal with 2...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Twitter
Tumblr