When I first moved here to the US in July of 2008, I thought it’d be so cool to get involved in celebrations such as Halloween and Independence.  Having grown up in Jamaica, Independence means something FAR different to me and is celebrated a lot differently. There is more thankfulness than there is pride.

Come to think of it, that might be part of our problem in Jamaica … pride. How many of us have real PRIDE in our country and its independence? But that’s a whole ‘nother story and blog post. We’ll leave that one for now.

Here in the US, there is pride bordering on arrogance and which quite often than not ends up spilling over, trampling upon those who don’t necessarily share the same perspective or experiences. (That, too, is another post for another day).

This post is about Halloween. Halloween which symbolizes the time of year that is my favourite – the fall, autumn, the transition from living to dead. My mother would say that I am morbid were she to hear me speaking like this. But if you think about it, it’s not un-true.

The leaves fall off the trees, the grass stops growing tall and lush, the animals fly south to warmer climates, those that aren’t leaving snuggle down in their nests and dens for the winter.  It’s when the heat of the summer takes a break and the cool temperature return. It’s actually my favourite time of year because while it’s still relatively warm, there are nice cool mornings and evenings with the occasional day when blankets and jackets are used. And I love to snuggle into blankets, long-sleeve blouses/shirts, jeans and boots.

Autumn puts me in a good mood … at least it does under normal circumstances. This year, the mood isn’t AS good as it was last year.

To get back to the matter at hand, though, the whole concept of Halloween and getting all decorated and dressed up and participating in this big festival.  I thought it’d be fun. The first year, we got decorations and put them out on our lawn – a headstone, skull, hands and feet for the illusion of a semi-buried corpse, spiderwebs and spiders …

The demotivation started when kids start dismantling our stuff. Continued when the wind blew the headstone away. And finally hit rock bottom when I realized what it is that kids are wanting when they come to your door and say “trick or treat”. They want candy!

When I think about all the candy they can amass in one night if they visit every house in the neighbourhood, and superimpose that on my own kids … I have heart failure just thinking about it. NO WAY are any of my kids going to be eating THAT much candy at ANYtime.

And if my kids will never eat that much, then how can in good conscience encourage other kids to do so?

So the whole idea of tricking and treating? Out the window. My porch light went off that first Halloween night in 2008 and it has remained off since.

Of course there are the retards who ignore that and ring the doorbell anyway and I WANT to say “There is no way in HELL I will give you more candy. Want an apple instead?” but what I say instead is “I’m sorry – I am not participating this year.” and close the door.

Call me cynical, but somehow the whole concept of Halloween – whichever folklore tale or historical explanation you choose to use – has strayed. It is now as much commercial and superficial as Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving is; all about how much money the merchants can get from poor suckers like us.

Ha! I refuse to give in! You may NOT have my money which will only serve to rot the mouths, hearts and minds of children everywhere.

Bah humbug!

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I know I’d said I’d blog more … but seriously, I am barely hanging on.

Who would have thought that 2 weeks separation for me would so hard considering I’ve done 3 and 4 months at a time … but frankly, not even WoW will hold my attention for too long. I have days when I am good … mostly those are the days when I get up and walk, and get out and DO stuff. On days when I take it easy and do stuff in the house, I end up falling to the bottom and not wanting to  get up.

Like today … I had some wine last night, and I felt great. But somehow I didn’t sleep as well as I thought I had … that became clear when about 11ish my back started to pain something terrible. So all the idea of getting out and shopping and doing some chores went straight through the window. On top of that, I got some news … that I can’t really share in public just yet. Let’s just say it floored me. If the reality of being an army wife hasn’t hit me yet, this will do it. Don’t y’all jump to any conclusions …. just take it on merit that it could be worse, but it’s bad enough… for me anyway.

I’ve been hearing people mention that they hate the new FB interface, but I don’t know what’s to hate. It doesn’t feel that much different to me. One thing I know disappointed me was the promise of a live feed which I envisioned to be like a running ticker of activity … but that hasn’t materialized. I know that it would be hard to code, being somewhat technological, but it still was disappointing. It’s a pain to keep refreshing the page … seriously.

I got a call today at about 2 or 3 … boss asking me to work tonite. My first instinct was “WTF – coupla hours notice? what are YOU thinking?” … all I said was “No. Sorry. Can’t do that tonite.”  Frankly, maybe if I had been feeling less shitty I might have tried to go out. I mean it is extra money. But I really do NOT feel all that well at all .. at first I thought maybe it was a fever. I had that feeling you get when you have a fever .. but no fever.  Just the pain in my mid-right back and shoulders and the monster headache.

I got new glasses … they should arrive sometime next week. As it turns out, I will now be wearing bifocals lenses. Of course, I got the progressive lens so that I don’t LOOK old … but still. That transitioning issue I’ve had with near and far sight is apparently a symptom. Plus, when we compared my now prescription to the one I am getting, it seems as if either my eyes have got 10 times worse in a year, or the old glasses were never good enough. I would vote for them getting worse in a year. I did spend most of 2008 staring at a laptop screen for hours and hours and hours on end while I spent as much online time with hubby as I could muster. So that might have killed them once and for all … nevertheless, new glasses it is.

And THAT would also explain the monster headaches I have been getting. And they have been bad. At first we thought it was allergies … and the new allergy meds DID make the headaches less frequent. But they haven’t gone away totally … and even after getting home with none, as soon as I sat in front of the computer, it’d start on me. So I should’ve known that my eyes had plenty to do with it.

Oh well – such is life … and it can’t stay idyllic forever, can it? Real life tends to come and kick you in the ass pretty hard sometimes. It’s a measure of strength to see how well we hold up after the kicks. So let’s see how much time it takes for me to pick myself up, brush myself off and start all over again (hums the tune in her head) … Mom used to sing that to me when I fell off the bike, or the skateboard, or out of a tree … or whatever.

I miss you Mom.

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The sub-conscious registered today that hubby isn’t on nights or 24-hour shift. It made me realize how empty this little house can feel. I had thought to do some housework, but I ended up spending ALL day in-game instead. It helped to keep me occupied.

But before I was a lump on a log all day, I got up and walked at about 8ish. Took me half hour and when I got back, I took a shower and washed my hair. Figured I may as well do everything in my power to boost the endorphins. It helped too. It put me in a good mood for the day.

Spent the day making money and playing my Death Knight – something I haven’t had the chance to do in earnest since she hit 80 – mostly because when I DO get in-game, someone needs heals.

Doesn’t matter. It’s like midnight and I am still in-game and I am tired and tomorrow is a full day. I need to go into the next town to get some stuff done – not the least of which is seeking a job that is going to pay me more, keep me more occupied and challenge me more than this one because I am bored now, and disappointing since I was expecting it to help keep me occupied these 2 weeks. My mother suggested Red Cross, but frankly, what I ended up doing there just before this job was almost as boring. I need challenges, and some interesting content now – I am tired of just being useful and helpful. Time for ME.

Nala somehow knows I am feeling lonely … she’s spent every single minute of the last 2 days by my side and without the kind of neediness she is usually craving. She just lies in her bed and mews at intervals. Then she looks at me all pitiful like  … cute kitteh.

Spring is here … my allergies are telling me so at any rate. Not looking forward to spring at all. It’s my first, but I am not looking forward to it at all. Nevermind that I have Allegra, it may not be sufficient for the explosion of activity that spring brings. In any case, the cold weather seems to have gone …. oh well… such are the seasons, eh?

Well, it’s time for bed I think. At least I hope so … these people sure know how to flog a dead horse in here … we’ve been acting on diminishing returns here for at least an hour … it’s time to call it a night and sleep on it. /sigh

Y’all take care now, hear?

YUSH

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Guess what?

I AM HAVING MY FIRST WHITE CHRISTMAS … EVAR!!!

Hasn’t stopped snowing since we arrived here in Michigan last Friday afternoon. There has been bouts of icing-over, freezing rain and sub-zero temperatures, but all in all I would have to say that I AM LOVING IT GONE TO BED!!!

Nevermind that I’ve been inside most of the time with no where to go that I HAVE to be … like work, or school … but still!!! It’s really nice. And I am VERY aware of the fact that 30 plus years of this might have me thinking and saying differently… but without having those 30 years, I am not sure I wouldn’t still like it. From all reports, most of my yaadie peeps hate it the first year. I am loving it. So clearly I have busted that myth – that yaadies doan mek fa col’. Well, we doan mek fa it, caw it tek more layers for me to be warm dan dese peeps here who been living in it all their life … but I still don’t care. 4-5-SIX layers, I don’t care. I still love it.

Well, pictures will be coming once I get back onto a broadband connection. Dial-up and picture uploading is a very sad affair, so I will just wait until I get home. Seen?

Well, the father-in-law is yelling fer me, so off I go again.

Talk to youse soon.

YUSH

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Less than 24 hours from now, we’ll be on the road to Michigan. I have to pack today. And kitteh-proof the house … but I find I am SO not motivated to do any of it.  I’d rather go back into bed and curl up under the electric blanket rather than pick up stuff and pack suitcases.

The snow is almost all gone now. It just sat there and froze … and it’s funny actually. I stood looking outside yesterday, and it looked to me like the snow had iced over and formed a kind of canopy over the concrete platform that is our back verandah. I grabbed a jacket and ran out to investigate and so said … there was a branch sitting on the platform, with an accumulation of snow that had frozen over in a canopy. I stepped on it, and it crackled and caved in. I found that pretty strange. Through the window, it looks like the whole front lawn is under a thin canopy of ice. It may LOOK unobtrusive, but can I tell you how I nearly slipped and fell when I ran out the back door to “investigate” the mini ice canopy? Oh yea, the “deck” was slick. My fluffy slippers could NOT find traction and it’s a good thing I am quicker than usual on my feet and observant and alert … unless I WOULD have found myself sitting on my ass on the cold icy deck.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t MIND winter and the cold. I even like it a little. It CAN be a nuisance when it’s REALLY freezing outside and it takes a little extra effort to get warm, but it’s nothing MORE than a nuisance really. Not any more than the nuisance it is having to bathe 3 and 4 times a day because the sweat just keeps rolling off you in waves…. no, THAT I don’t miss at ALL.

Spoke to Mom and Dad this morning … they’re currently having some kind of cold spell … I snicker to myself, because I realize that what we call “cold spell” in Jamaica is really just a “cool spot” – LOL. Not ridiculing, just realizing the difference and how large that difference gets when you have something to compare. It’s true what they say … you can’t know how another man feels until you walk around in their shoes a little.  Expanding that a little, all you KNOW is what you live… until you live something different. Traveling, experiencing new places at different times … THAT’s gaining perspective.

And frankly, maybe this is why I am the way I am … my parents made sure to travel me whilst I was young and able to appreciate it on a level that prepared me for this portion of my life. I think I would be less open to this kind of a change and less accommodating and less accepting … and I have my parents to thank for that.

If they are reading, I can bet those smiles have lit the world up.

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