This morning, I tweeted: “So takethislollipop.com would have been more impressive if done in HTML5 #BoycottingFlashOnMyMBA” and was accosted by a follower thus: “@fyrfli boycotting flash is like boycotting windows; you love to hate it but its popular because it works.  Boycott  itunes.“.  And it reminded me again how people just love to jump on a band wagon and ride it until its wheels fall off.

There was no discourse on why I chose to boycott flash (“OnMyMBA”, note) and no discussion as to it’s merits or downfalls – just a random attack on my choice to do so. When I subsequently tried to be witty with the well-known mantra “#DareToBeDifferent”, I was again told that it is common place, used, works, known … etc. yet still no asking after my reasons.

I have a long time love-hate relationship with all Adobe products. A lot of it is irrational I will freely admit. I simply have not chosen to educate myself fully on the matter. Frankly, I believe that the larger issue here (the stability of Flash as a platform) is above my pay grade. And this is possibly another irrational judgement call, but there it is.

The fact is that in my experience, Adobe products (Reader, AIR, Flash) have given me more headaches than I care to remember. In fact, just about every single experience I have had with Adobe has been painful and forgettable. But this is my experience … no one else’s. That it coincides with the general view out there of the products is telling. I’ve seen a great number of people lament that Flash could perform better, that it’s implementation is buggy, that it doesn’t play well with others, etc. The problem is that up until now, Flash has been the only option and so people embrace it, love it, defend it and … continue to patronize it.

One of the things that I am telling myself these days is that I need to really live my life out loud and stop being afraid of being decried or debunked. My life is the sum of my experiences – I own them and they have taught me things that I don’t know that anyone else can claim to have learnt. My choices and my opinions are based on my experiences and I make judgement calls based on that and that alone.

I have never been one to conform to the crowd just because everyone else was doing it, or because it’s the one thing that works or because it’s the only known solid solution. Just because everyone is using Flash – to develop or to publish – doesn’t make my choice to NOT install it on my laptop a bad decision. Nor does it make it an uninformed decision. If at any time in the future I find that my daily duties are hampered because I do not have Flash installed, I will certainly swallow hard and do the deed because at the end of the day, my choices are never the kind to “cut off my nose to spite my face”.

Until then I shall continue to #BoycotFlashOnMyMBA because I LOVE how that snappy, happy, speedy feel and would hate to bog it down with more crap than is absolutely necessary.   #JustSayin’

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There was once a time when I truly loved to blog. I filled paragraph after paragraph with drivel or opinion or rants. It was all truly personal and extremely subjective … and sometimes downright hateful.

Apparently, I have either lost that ability – or motivation – or I don’t remember how to.

In those days, I was not known – I was invisible, simply another voice in a sometimes discontent sea of voices. It didn’t matter what I had to say because no one could take personal offense to what I was saying. I could rant and rave in relative anonymity and not think for a second that I was going to be causing harm to others.

Things have changed and just by virtue of who I have become – per se – I am no longer anonymous and what I say DOES matter and WILL offend.

I still have my opinions, most of which are now so inflammatory that I am sometimes afraid to even THINK them much less write about them in a public forum like this blog is. Lately, I have realized that the inflammatory nature of these thoughts and opinions is not only not improving, it is getting worse. And I am moving further away from a time when I could speak freely and anonymously.

I sit and watch people express themselves on Twitter, on Facebook … even on Google+ and I realize that were I to open my mouth about any of the subjects that are now on constant debate I am either so far out of the loop as to cause the wrath of the ages to be called down on me for my ineptitude to research … or I am so far beyond the “norm” that I get the wrath of ages called down on me for my opinion and insight.

Hell, I find even when I state my mind in simple, non-judgmental terms without even attempting to incite debate and drama, I get it anyway.

Therefore, there should be no doubt as to why I have become silent in the last few months.

Unfortunately, it has hampered my ability and my propensity for fluency and it is beginning to affect my work… at this point in time, I can no longer write as I used to because I can no longer find the words to express myself. I am out of practice. Badly out of practice.

As a result, this blog has become a sparse collection of random topics ranging from a recitation of events as they have occurred in my life or a random miscellaneous commentary or review on some new geek toy or service that I have “discovered” for myself.

Not exactly how I want to be.

And so … I have decided that I need to write again – as anonymously as I once used to. For that, I have chosen to move my rants, opinions and scorching commentary somewhere else – somewhere anonymous – where whether or not one wants to be offended or not is separate and apart from my so-called public persona. A place where only a few select actually know me and care about what I think – no matter what it is – and respect for me even having an opinion.

The rest of you will have to deal with my random miscellaneous posts if and until you can prove to be as discerning and objective of what I choose to speak about as I expect you to be.

My apologies. It may seem harsh to you – and maybe even unnecessarily drastic, but I must attempt to save the one thing I have always loved to do … and that is, to write.

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I was in the middle of a discussion with a friend on Skype about this whole nonsense about privacy online when I realized I need to rant.

Your SmartPhone is smarter than you think

So, Apple.com is tracking your last locations over the past 10 months on your phone and keeping the information in an unsecured file on your phone.

I get why this could be worrisome for people – the “unsecured file” part of this news is definitely something worth worrying over. It means that a malicious person with the right tools can track your movement over the last few months with a view to learning your routines and catching you off-guard to be mischievous. I get that and I am appalled that the information is indeed unsecured. I also have no doubt that now that it’s all over the web, Apple.com will issue an update very soon that will plug that hole.

However, this brings up a whole ‘nother dispute about whether your location information should be accessible by Apple.com in the first place.

And this is where I get really frustrated.

It can’t be private if its accessible in a public place.

As my post title says, privacy online is an oxymoron. It’s akin to standing on your front curb, naked and screaming at the neighbours and passers-by to stop looking at you.

If you want to keep your business private, on the internet is the last place for you to be posting it.

The discussion my friend and I were having was that we liked when social networks work together to keep you connected with your “friends” and followers. For instance, we love that Ping goes out and looks for our Twitter friends and suggests them as followers. It makes sense that if you’re following someone on one social network, there is a small chance you might be interested in following them on another.

This doesn’t strike me as a violation of privacy – because I never had the expectation of privacy regarding who I follow.  It seems rather counterproductive since Twitter screams my followers out to whoever wants to look. So why should that information not be accessible by other networks? Especially if they ask for permission first.

What are you saying online is essentially being said over a high-tech loudspeaker

I once installed Ethereal on my work laptop to see just how much information about me was being passed over the local area network. I opened up a Yahoo chat window and fired up an instant message session with a good friend. It was interesting to see that every single word we said to each other was being trapped and reported by Ethereal in perfectly understandable language. It was like having my IM conversation read back to me by someone who wasn’t part of the conversation in the first place.

It was literally like sitting in the middle of a parking lot and having a conversation with someone over a public address system.

Privacy? Over any kind of network? Impossible unless you have the money and time to invest in an advanced encryption process – and even then, unless the intended destination has the same tools to decrypt your messages, it’s pointless. That would be like talking to me in Aramaic when not only is the language obsolete, but I have no knowledge of the syntax anyway.

I really wish people would stop talking about their privacy online … those 2 words don’t belong in the same phrase.

If you don’t want me knowing that you and your best friend had a fight over who’s boyfriend Mark is, then stop writing it on a poster and placing it on your house front wall – because that is exactly what your Facebook wall is to me.

Ok – rant over.

( Thanks Ang. )

Edit: There is some talk of a semi-official response to this uproar over the “consolidated.db” file.

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One of my tweeps posted a link this morning (afternoon?) which incensed me on a whole different level.

The story is that an anti-abortion organization (irks me to give them respectability by labeling them as such, but …) mounted an ad campaign that states that “the most dangerous place for an African-American child is in the womb”.

I am assuming that this is supposed to wake people up, make people aware of the startlingly high number of black women having abortions.

Aside from encroaching on the right of every woman to choose; whether it is a choice of life, murder, safety, compassion or otherwise, is not anybody’s concern but those involved. And it is certainly not anybody’s right to judge or persecute based on said judgement.

Even beyond the issue of abortion… how is it the responsibility or prerogative of any individual to impose any kind of judgement on any other individual? On what basis can I tell anyone what is right?

Of course, there are some wrongs that most all of us agree on (Murder, objectifying children in a sexual manner, etc.) and this by basis of our assumed similarity in instruction and education. Christianity teaches “judge not, lest ye be judged” and the gospel of Matthew instructs “love thy neighbour as thyself”, yet the irony is that I have found that self-proclaimed Christians are the biggest offenders.

It’s as I tweeted earlier, I do not judge anyone. I have very definitive ideas of what is wrong and what is right and the consequences of both. And I realize that someone else may exist in circumstances (past of present) that make their ideas of wrong and right different from mine. In fact, it might actually conflict with mine. It doesn’t matter whether they differ or conflict … it’s not for me to say what is your reality.

If only the rest of the human race could recognize that we are one, but we are also many. We are all the same yet each so different from the other. We are all in this thing called life together but we all journey through life individually.

I may live my life as an example for you; I may even tell you what rules I live by in response to a request by you. However, I can’t tell you my way is right and yours is wrong because … and I insist on this point … neither of us can know what is ultimately right or wrong.

I have heard opinions that say this approach to life is begging for chaos and confusion. However, tolerance and a sense of personal responsibility is what tempers this approach and helps keep us from encroaching on the rights of others.

Almost every religion in the world has at least one tenet in common; simply “love thy neighbour as thyself”. Or if you prefer “do unto others as you would have them do onto you”. Or maybe – like me – you prefer “an it harm none, do what ye will”.

You know, as much as Wikipedia is maligned and discredited as a source of legitimate information, it is still the perfect starting place when you want to know about a particular subject. Just about every culture and religion in the history of the world has the concept of the Golden Rule.

The Golden Rule or ethic of reciprocity is a maxim,[2] an ethical code, or a morality,[3] that essentially states either of the following: 1. One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself (positive form)[2] 2. One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated (negative/prohibitive form, also called the Silver Rule) The Golden Rule is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights, in which each individual has a right to just treatment, and a reciprocal responsibility to ensure justice for others.

Considering the concept is a common thread, doesn’t that mean something… that there must be a truth in it? A truth that transcends race, creed, religion?

each individual has a right to just treatment, and a reciprocal responsibility to ensure justice for others

All of you who choose to tell others what they should do, how they should think and the choices they should make – how would you feel if someone to turn on you and tell you what you should do, what you should think, which choices you should make?

How easily would you accept it if I told you that there is no God, there is no Devil, there is no heaven and no hell … there is only this?

Feel the weight of that anger, the ire, the indignation, the horror … feel it. Weigh it. Think about the fairness of it and the GALL of ME to tell you this.

Now turn around and make someone else feel that way.

Feel good?

Didn’t think so.

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bul·ly

[bool-ee] noun, plural: -lies, verb: -lied, -ly·ing, adjective, interjection –noun 1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

I figured I’d get controversial today.

I was bullied in school.

I didn’t go home crying everyday, and I didn’t attempt to kill myself because of it. No, what happened to me was that I developed somewhat of an inferiority complex.

I still remember the chanting “Four Eyes! Four Eyes!”, the games that required me to stand and have balls thrown at me without being able to catch them (is that what is now known as dodge ball?), the constant ribbing about my nerd-like appearance and hair stylings… and on and on, ad infinitum. They found countless ways to torture and torment me and most of them would be clueless about it if reminded today.

Granted – I am your typical straight-laced sort of person and I acknowledge that it could have been a million times worse. However, don’t you DARE tell me that my experiences were not real and not serious. They were actually QUITE traumatic for me … and at least twice, when I had had enough, I lashed out at my bullies in a not-so-ladylike manner.

Both times I was brought summarily to the principal’s office and scolded – one of those times, I even got detention for a week. However, both times, to the principal’s credit, they acknowledged that my actions were a direct result of being bullied and cautioned me that there were more mature, productive and civilized ways to deal with the offenders.

A stern lecture from my parents plus some tips on how to handle the bullies from there on out was all I needed – and those tips worked. I am not much of a complainer, so every time thereafter when some neanderthal messed with me, I used the advice my parents gave me and smiled and moved on. I let them be.

Later on, when I was an adult and working, bullies I encountered ended up getting their comeuppance without so much as a sniffle from my direction. Karma is a bitch and I have learned to leave the asshats to fate.

On the flip side, I have also been accused of being a bully. This was an amusing episode in my life when I sternly and firmly told an assumed “friend” that she was not doing herself or anyone else any good by locking herself away from the world and wallowing and that she could do FAR better by communicating when she felt at her lowest. She claimed I was angry and was a bully and that I was mean to her. Yea. It happened.

However, what drove me to write today is simply an annoyance that bullying is only NOW a big deal. And what amazes me even more is that the United States is promoting all these “Stop Bullying Now” campaigns when the United States at it’s very CORE is a nation of bullies.

Oh yes – here comes the controversy now.

Before you de-friend (un-friend?) me, before you get on your high horse and tell me all about my ancestors and who fucked whom, please remember: (a) the slaves brought over from Africa in the most inhuman of conditions, their families shattered, (b) the indians who were here first and are now forced to live on the worst land the colonists could find and (c) the non-christians who were around long before King James decided to endorse the bible. From 1776 until now, the self-appointed citizens of these United States have been bullying minorities and it has never really stopped – has it?

Hell – they even set aside an entire day to celebrate the life of one of history’s greatest bullies. (Christopher Columbus? I HOPE you are turning in your grave!)

In light of this, does it not shock you that this is only NOW an issue?

And my question is this: how do you fight CENTURIES of tradition?

“Stop bullying now”? Please. Give me a break.

Here’s what you can do: you can stop trying to bully me into doing what you want me to do when you want me to do it. Thank you, but I’ll empower my kids (when they come along) with their own methods to combat bullying; just as it was my own parents’ job, so shall it be mine.

Bullies are not a new phenomenon; they just have twitter and facebook to help them now. They are still cowards with a poor sense of self. And they can be subdued. The problem is not the bullies, it’s the other wimps who refuse to deal with the bullying when it firsts rears it’s ugly head because “meddling” with other peoples’ children “violates” their “rights”.

Children have a right to be taught what is right and moral and fair regardless of who the teacher might be. That’s how you “stop bullying now”.

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