So, after that exhausting few days, I think I have managed to somewhat settle back into some semblance of a routine. Though that is hard since the hours I have been scheduled this last week have been anything from ridiculous to downright humorous. And I put ridiculous lower on the scale than humorous, cos there comes a point when all you can do is laugh.

I pulled something like 3 days of 1pm to 9pm hours last week. I pulled a couple of difficult customers too. AND I managed to argue once or twice with the hubby over stupid ish too. So, last week was probably THE worst week up till now. The good news is that coming home this evening, I discovered an envelope in our mailbox from Jackson Hewitt. They had mailed me a check. Now imagine that! I am now paid. All that hard work was not in vain. And I feel EXTRA good, because I managed to not let the lack of a check on Wednesday encroach too much on my productivity. So now I am paid and I can get my husband a birthday gift as I had initially planned to do.

So I had a dream yesterday morning. It was particularly odd and I had wanted to write about it … but now I can’t remember squat about it and it makes me mad because I used to sleep with a notebook beside the bed. I’d wake up and make notes about my dreams and transcribe them later if I wanted to. This dream in particular needed to have been recorded…. and now it’s gone.

In all of this, I forgot to mention that my death knight made 80. And she’s looking HOT. Hubby made an epic mace to sell. The proceeds would be towards his epic mount. Turns out that mace didn’t sell, so he gave it to me instead of attempting to re-list it. They are fairly expensive to make, but it looks like a lot of people had the same idea and there were a lot on the auction house for sale at a much lower price than what made it worthwhile. So my DK’s first epic is her weapon. I don’t think she’ll make too many more epic scores since I am always having to heal on my druid. Who, by the way, looks pretty epic herself now.

In other news, the cats are driving me crazy. I had a very traumatic experience with them both tonite. Bear just canNOT see a door and leave it alone. As it is, the little door in the hallway that allows access to the bathroom plumbing is now falling off its hinges because Bear will not leave the damn door alone. He must get into every single closed door and it is driving me up a wall… because it is VERY unnerving to hear in the dead of night scrabbling on the closet doors… worse, those doors hang, and all it takes is him scrabbling on them to swing them off their hinges…. there are teeth marks in every single blind in the house, and every single day they manage to spill ALL the water in their water bowl all across the floor. There is now a water mark on the floor not to mention the fact that the recliners’ wooden feet sit in the water for hours…. ooooo… I am so mad. If this keeps up, they will become more expensive than they’re worth. TWICE now I have had to throw away toilet paper rolls because Nala insists on pulling the whole off onto the floor. And I mean, we are on a budget. I cannot afford to be throwing away a roll of toilet paper a day.

I just do NOT know what to do anymore. I seriously am VERY close to locking them either in the cage or out in the shed. I am THAT exasperated.

Part of this might just be frustration and exhaustion. I think maybe it’s time to head into bed. I mean it IS almost 5am. And hubby will be walking through the door here from work in about an hour. So I may as well turn in.

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Remember I was dreading Sunday? Well, here’s what happened on Sunday:

I walked in, rushed in actually, cos I thought I was late. Boss’ wife was vacuuming the office when I got in. She greeted me with “What a way to spend your Sunday, huh?” and then “Here … here is your very own office key.” and hands me a key to the office. I am like “Whoa! Thanks!” she smiled and said something else funny. She’s a real nice lady. Met her on my first day there and liked her immediately.

Well, as it turns out, they BOTH liked me. A LOT! Later on, just before we closed, Boss says (after I said thanks about the key) “Oh – no worries. You should’ve had one before now, but I just never got around to cutting one before today.” And I say something like “Didn’t think I qualified for one” and he goes “Oh No! Not at all…. I was just my usual methodically late self. No, no – you’re doing GREAT! And I don’t think you’ll ever even imagine how grateful I am to you for walking in here looking for a job that day. You saved us here!”

…

And I nearly melted all over the floor. I’m doing great? He is grateful I came in looking for a job? I am doing THAT good that he had to SAY it to me with vim and vigor.

I gotta tell ya – that’s the kind of thing I have been missing ALL my life. Positive reinforcement about my work. I could be wrong, but I seem to remember that I had to ASK for feedback on my work before. It wasn’t very forthcoming on its own… and even when I DID ask, it was limited to one specific item or situation. Very demotivating. You go around thinking that maybe you aren’t doing such a good job because no one is saying anything. Of course, I know that you can’t ALWAYS get praise for everything you do. In fact, it is not in human nature to praise more often than it is to condemn … so I guess I understand on a very basic level what it means. But still, it was very nice to hear that I was welcome, and useful and actually good at what I do.

My mother, of course, has always said I’d excel at whatever I chose to do – but I never really listened to her – cos it’s her job to be my main and loudest cheerleader. But it turns out that she just might have been right after all. I attribute that to the perfectionist in me. If I am going to attempt something, I am going to make it as near-perfect as I can … just because any less would drive me crazy.

So, a week later, and I know I am going good at this job. I feel good.

Only problem today is, that it’s been snowing all night. Hubby got up at 2 to go into work to help be there in case there are weather related problems. I dunno how I am going to go in … oh wait, phone call. Boss called, saying to stay in and prolly that we will be closed again tomorrow too. We’ll see I guess. It’s bad out there now. (about 3 hours later) – the rain/sleet came down and covered the snow with ice. Went out just now with hubby to grab some kitteh food and was sliding all over the damn driveway to get into the truck.

I gotta tell ya, it’s annoying as hell, but I like it. Am waiting to see how many of these it’ll take for me to be like “ok this is old now.” It’s nice though, to see hubby taking a renewed interest in snow and ice and so on as he experiences it with me like it was a first time for him again.

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Yesterday was my first day-off. I had hoped for the entire weekend off, but it looks like it was not in the cards for me. I mean, I am sure he would have given me the day off today too had I asked, but the thing is, since this is a peak season, it would probably be good to get in as many hours as I can so I can take full advantage of it – more hours = more money. He DID warn me that there will be weeks when he will be hard-pressed to find 40 hours for me to work … so I guess I get this part of it over now and then I can have a couple or more days at a time in a week or 2. Frankly, I don’t feel like complaining … this all brings me closer and closer to my iPhone in a week or so. Oh I seriously can’t wait. THAT will be the highlight of my week, I know.

Today is first day of work for me this week and this week is going to be HELL. 12-5 today, 11-7 tomorrow, 1-9 Tuesday, 10-6 Wednesday and Thursday and then 1-9 on Friday again finishing the week with 9-5 on Saturday … Man! Tough week ahead.

So, Bear is being quite anti-social these days. He no longer wants to lie on my desk watching the outside anymore, he disappears soon after I get up and he stays disappeared until its food time at 5:30. I won’t lie, I am beginning to feel resentful… sad and resentful. He doesn’t pay much attention to Nala either … it’s like he’s the boss and he does what he wants, when he wants … and if you neglect to organize his care in time … h’oh boy …. meow crescendo in the place.

To his credit, VERY briefly last night when he came out for food and realized I was reclining on the couch, he jumped up and kinda lay beside me for a minute or 2… but then he was off batting the mice under the furniture. And then when he was done with that, it was back to meowing at me very plaintively like he hadn’t eaten for days. It’s unsettling and very disturbing for me. I called him ALL day, I kept calling to him “Bear honey – where are you?” “Bear come sit with mommy” … nothing. /sigh

And now this morning, he was on the desk when I came out, but as soon as I sat down, off he went. He’s not sick … cos he eats and bathrooms just the same … and he plays at night just the same and tries to get into all the closed doors he can find … so .. must be something else. Nala? Cos she is overly affectionate. She makes up for him and THEN some. He hasn’t hurt her. And he doesn’t seem to WANT to hurt her. But I dissuade her as much as I can from being herself just so he doesn’t feel left out .. doesn’t work – he still just keeps a far berth. The thing about Nala is that she TAKES her affection. And she does not take no for an answer.

I dunno … I am about ready to just give up. Hubby and I make these special efforts to include him … call for him, push Nala away for him, give him treats and not her. He seems adamant to be the strong, silent type. Oh well, I guess that’s just how it’s gonna go then … may as well make up my mind that my cuddly Bear is now a thing of the past.

Well, may as well start my day …

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So, army W2s came out yesterday. As is expected, there was a run on the office. I think it probably wasn’t half as bad as the other 2 offices, but it was bad, because at 9pm. I was still sittin’ there doin’ tax returns when I should’ve been home 3 hours before. I was exhausted and irritable and I just wanted to crawl into bed, but I had to eat and let the food settle first. Man, I just wanted to scowl all night long. Thankfully, hubby WAS mad at me cos I didn’t call to say I’d be late, but he was too relieved that I was ok to be mad for long. He forgave me, made dinner, babied me a little … but then left the kitchen for me to clear up before climbing into bed. I was just so irritable, I said nothing, did what I had to do, and climbed into bed…. where he murmured comfort words to me for a while until we both passed out.

It’s going to be another hectic day today, I think … but this time I am going to leave at 6 as I am scheduled to cos these long days are just not going to work for me.

I can tell you THIS much, this weekend? Yea … not doing a damn thing. Sleep and read.

One small nagging thought, and that is that I am making TONS of mistakes that will just … be my undoing. I can’t shake it. I don’t know what it is. I just hope it’s that guy that lives in the back of my head who is the fatalist, the one who puts me down (sometimes overly so) in order to keep me humble … I hope it’s just him .. and not premonition.

Oh well … I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

/sigh

I am just so TIRED tho … like I am running on fumes even though I am eating and sleeping … I mean, I get 3 meals most days (yesterday was the exception with the wrap that had a hair in it), and I get 7-8 hours sleep at night (except for that hour or so during which hubby snoozes the alarm for like a half hour).

Bear is mad at me, I figure it’s because I am absent more now. I cuddle with them less. Like this morning, I have on a black shirt – I can’t go to work covered in cat hair. The one or two is fine, but if I go cuddling, I’ll be literally covered.

Oh well, time to go worry myself and the car over to the gas station … hope I have enough to get there. That’s what you get for putting it off “until after work” when after work is a whole 3 and a half hours after you expected. /sigh

Laterz.

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I feel SO tired and achy this morning. I know it’s because I am not used to working these hours. I know it’ll pass especially if hubby keeps his promise to insist we walk every other day. I know I only gotta hang on, hang in there, bear it out … but frankly, I just really wanna crawl back under the electric blanket and cry.

Why?

Well, 10 am to 6 pm is a VERY long day if you spend about half of it sitting around, chatting and waiting… and that is just about all I did yesterday. Sit around, waiting and chatting. I processed 3 customers, 2 were final returns with no saves, 1 was a “let’s start it and I’ll bring the rest of the paperwork in by Friday”. It’s hard for people like me to sit around doing nothing all day. I can get online, but I they say they track our activity and I don’t particularly want them knowing about all my little haunts and stuff online. Altho, I could just sit and read Lifehacker all day =)

So anyway, it’s hard for me to sit and do nothing … you guys know I get into all kinds of stuff here at home when I am here – I am either taking a low activity day and reading for the majority of it, or I am exploring stuff online and playing with my sites. Or, I am playing WoW. Which sometimes I feel I could do with while sitting there … just so I can urge the day to go faster. (Oh yea – want the day to go like lightening, play WoW).

So anyway, I got another call from the local cable provider yesterday. I don’t think people read resumes, since every single person who has contacted me has asked me to go over what I did in my last couple of jobs. Sometimes I wanna say “don’t y’all read?” but that kind of attitude isn’t really conducive to getting hired, is it? Thing is, I get the feeling that no one is really interested in me and my skills, they’re just going through the motions and moving bodies along like cattle in a branding shop. And I guess that goes against my whole being …. seeing that I am a little on the sensitive side of things.

I have to be completely honest, and say that I won’t be heartbroken if I don’t get a high-profile, high-tech job … I don’t feel like joining the US version of the rat race. I’d rather keep the work simple and uncomplicated. But we all know that beggars aren’t choosers, and it’ll be awhile before *I* can pick and choose jobs .. so for now, I take what I can get.

So ok, that was pretty much my day yesterday. I am dying to hear about Yolospat’s few days in Colorado. I didn’t hear from her once, so I am going to assume she had a ball and will call me as soon as she can and give me some updates. Can’t wait, hun. Hurry it up already.

And on that note, going to swallow my many pills and start getting ready to go.

YUSH

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