Bitterness, not the one who abandoned but the one who was abandoned – not once but twice.
Anger, at having my life broadcast to those unknown to me in such a way that they could feel justified in making an attack on me.
Fear, that I will not be able to do this and that while I am not alone, I am very alone.
Despair, that at this point I don’t think I’ve done enough to be ready for this.
/sigh
// Share|Don’t let anyone tell you different – there is NOTHING good about a casing ceremony if you’re a wimp like me.
They rolled up the flag, put it in it’s bag and stood at attention and there I was fighting to hold the tears back.
And THAT was just halfway through the ceremony.
So imagine what I was like once it was over.
We were “invited” to shake the hands of the soldiers and wish them well as they go downrange.
I was bawling like ..read more
Lawd whoee – what a stress!
I’ll tell you this, it’s heartening to know that SO many people want to be an authority on the fyr … I’m famous! Wewt!
I apologize to those who might have been working up the courage to comment (again?) and found that comments are now closed here – the reason is a sudden upsurge in the bitch content of my life which I am trying valiantly to quell and exterminate. So far, it seems to be ..read more
I have a couple of friends who I know might be offended that I had this major drama situation today, where I needed someone to talk to BADLY but I didn’t call them. Instead, I called on my army family.
I was incoherent in my distress, blabbing about the chain of command and orders and family members and mandatory training… yet I was rational enough to think that unless I called someone who could understand my blathering, I would just work ..read more
Earlier this week, I did something I know I had to do and had been putting off for weeks because it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do – I surrendered a pet to the post animal shelter.
Since then, I have asked myself over and over whether it was necessary and whether I was a mean person for doing it. Each and every time, I have ended up feeling like the scum of the earth despite the answer ..read more
There. I’ve said it. Acknowledged it. Now what?
I guess I haven’t really been acknowledging this upcoming period in our lives. My first clue was when another wife in this unit spent one night crying her eyeballs out and I still have yet to FEEL that panicky. My second clue, I guess, is Mom saying that she noticed that I was waaaay too calm over the Shootings (Capital ‘S’ because the event has become one of those before-event and after-event milestones). ..read more
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