He opened his eyes and saw the world sideways.

Everything was blurry and there was a pounding in his head that felt as if someone had hit him with something large.

He blinked and winced. Blinking made the pain worse. He tried lifting a hand to his head. He wanted to know what on earth was causing his head to pound so badly. Lifting his arm hurt too and he realized that it wasn’t just his head that hurt, but his whole body. And he winced again.

The moss-covered stripe that he had drooled onto seemed to be some sort of demarcation. He couldn’t see where the end of the line was, but he could make out a building in the distance. There were people standing around too. Why weren’t they paying him any attention? He was lying on the ground, clearly hurt. He could feel the trickle of blood down the back of his head, and down his neck.

He winced again and wondered whether he might give sitting up a try without causing a blood vessel in his head to burst from the pain. He put his palm on the ground beside his cheek and noticed that it was covered in dirt and blood and flakes of what looked like gravel. He couldn’t see if there were any cuts or bruises so he pushed hard against the ground, trying to raise his body upright. It worked right up until he tried to use his other arm to support him. A red mist of pain fell over him and he screamed loud and long.

There was a rush of footsteps coming towards him.

‘Ha! They finally noticed me, did they?‘ he thought to himself.

Someone fell to their knees beside him; he heard the impact on the concrete and managed to think, ‘That must’ve hurt.‘

“Dude! What happened? Where do you feel pain? What’s the last thing you remember? Where did you come from?”, someone babbled at him.

“I don’t remember …”, he started to say and realized that the only sound he made was a loud moaning.

And that started the images. He remembered!

There was a building behind him, he remembered that now. He had been standing on the edge of the roof on that building contemplating life. The roof was slippery and his foot slipped. He had fallen off the roof! Three stories! He had fallen three stories and lived! Amazing!

The red mist cleared enough for him to realize that there was a crowd gathered. He could hear someone yelling something that sounded like a description of injuries. There was a woman probing his right leg. Someone else was holding his head in place, saying something that sounded like “Should we be moving him? Let’s wait for the ambulance.”

Through all the confusion, one question nagged at him: had he jumped? He wasn’t suicidal. His life was fine. Did he really just slip? Or did he jump? He couldn’t remember.

It was going to be a long climb upwards out of the pain, through the healing, to the answer.

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I don’t have to write 400-600 formatted words everyday, I don’t even have to have anything to review or report everyday. I just have to put some words on the screen, and click publish.

This is how I have to get back into practice.

Struggling to figure out what to write about, and how to not offend … Shouldn’t be a restriction or a limitation – it should be THE subject.

Once I start, sometimes I find I have a LOT more to say than I had initially thought.

So many times, these days, I find that what I want to say is likely to offend.

I need to stop thinking that way and just write.

Nothing wrong with voicing my opinion, is there?

That I hate having to defend it or bump heads with others over my opinion shouldn’t be relevant to whether I write or not. There are ways to write about something without being offensive.

I do avoid REALLY well these days. Probably not something I should be proud of, but there it is. Instead of really digging into a thing, I just avoid it. I’ve been avoiding writing because I am afraid of offending.

I get on the defensive so often too – it’s as if I think everyone in the world is out to make me look stupid or to contradict me. So untrue – when will I get that? People have different opinions than I. This is not news to me. It’s always been like that. Since when did it become a problem?

Actually – I know when … It was when I was attacked for voicing my own opinion in response to someone else’s.

See? There are ways to write potentially offensive content without begin offensive. No one even knows what I’m talking about there – do you?

Stay tuned – this COULD get better.

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Another day is born In the stillness of The Wonder of Sunrise I am thankful to Be able to witness Yet another morning.

I wrote this on Christmas morning, 2010 whilst I sat in church with my parents and my very good friend Gail and watched the sun rise outside. What a beautiful thing, sunrise.

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I’ve toyed with the idea of embarking on a 365 project. I’ve seen people do 365 days of ME which seems a little boring to me. Who would want to see 365 pictures of me?

Since I am trying to amp up my photography, a generic 365 days in pictures might be a nice project to take on.

I only regret not starting the day hubby left in April – it would have been a really nice project to have throughout this deployment – wouldn’t it?

I think I shall do just that, actually.

I’ll make a new site (probably definitely 365.fyrfli.net – if it’ll allow a sub-domain with that name) and I’ll make it a WordPress driven site with a photo gallery theme … and I shall call it …  365 fyrfli. Simple.

Stay tuned.

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IMG_5947, originally uploaded by ~fyrfli~.

I had a productive day today. I felt so good about myself that I decided to actually unplug for a while and go do something other than stare at this screen. So I set up the little collapsible lawn chair outside and sat out with my Kindle reading. It was such a pretty day though that by the time I had read about 10 Kindle pages, I couldn’t ignore the day anymore. It was windy out, but such a blue, blue sky and nice and cool – not cold. I sat there with my face turned up to the sky for about 5 minutes, just enjoying the smell, the wind, the sun and then I got up, put the precious Kindle to sit on the dining table and grabbed the camera. Somehow, it seems that the only thing worth taking was the sky, though. The sky through the trees … and my usual lens flare to accompany this particular gem. I’d forgotten what joy I get just …. snapping pictures of random Mother Nature finds. /sigh

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